It’s hard. It’s hard for friends of Gavin to know what to say; yet given what his family are going through we know we need (in Gav’s words) ‘a large glass of harden the flock up Australia’.
Anybody who is a friend of Gav’s probably feels the same sense of shock, injustice and loss. Gav is a born leader and if you are lucky enough to form a friendship with Gavin you have had the privilege of having an amazing leader in your life. One definition of a leader is somebody who you’d follow to a place you might not go yourself. I have, and would follow Gav just about anywhere.
Over the course of 10 years I worked with Gav across three different agencies. And given just how much the ad industry saps out of you and the time you spend at your desk - over the last decade I’ve probably spent more time with Gav than just about anybody else on the planet.
Over those years Gav has been a leader, a mentor and a mate. He is a big man in every sense. Talked big, played big, was big. There was always a reverence around him. When he walks into a room things change. He wasn’t afraid to ever speak his mind for fear of repercussion or consequence. If it needed to be said or done - Gav would stand-up to be counted. You always hoped to hell you never had to cross him or get in his way. Yet he was so bloody charismatic that even the people who he had argy-bargy with in the workplace are almost universally proud to call him a friend today.
When I think of Gav in words I think of conviction, courage and strength. And few of us knew just how strong he really was. For years we thought he had no weakness, he had no doubt. But his true strength showed for me when he admitted that what looked from the outside like the perfect story: the job, wife, kids, car, house and life wasn’t the perfect fairytale afterall. He was still wrestling with the darkness around his father’s departure and scared of his own path unless something changed.
So in typical Gav style he look himself head on, changed the game and transformed his life (not to mention those around him). R U OK? day is an expression of this change. It’s a story much bigger than one man. A story that started with his father, to him being a father and the choices that we all make. What’s so amazing about Gav is his generosity. To make a stand for everybody dealing with mental health issues that they never have to stay silent and feel alone.
That’s courage beyond a man. There’s the awful reality with cancer that the suffer is fighting for their life. It’s instinctual for humans to fight for their lives with everything that they have. Gav not only fought the fight of his life against his illness, he fought selflessly for all of us. He fought for his family and his friends. But bigger than that (and quite extraordinarily) from his hospital bed he kept R U OK? day on track. Continuing to fight so that nobody else has to experience the loss and hardship he endured.
For me that’s where R U OK? day becomes bigger than the man, but once again Gav becomes bigger than R U OK? day. For each of us lucky to have been touched by Gav he shows (rather compels) us to draw on our own conviction, courage and strength. It’s easy to feel small being around Gav. Yet Gav’s gift to us all is to be bigger, to play bigger. We know that in each of us there’s our own version of R U OK? day that’s just waiting for us to step up. It isn’t over. We can all be better friends, parents, workmates and citizens. But with a leader like Gav in my life I know I can and will do better.
This message is way too long, but with Gav he’s bigger than words on a page and I can never write enough to express the difference he’s made in my life and how proud I am of how he’s chosen to play out his. The greatest tribute I can give Gav is to admit when I feeling down; to accept when I’ve made mistakes. Then glug down that large glass of “harden the flock up” and get out there and make the biggest difference I can.
Mate, you have been the best mentor, friend, leader and god parent to my daughter that I could have asked for. You’ve kept your head high through the best hell could throw at you. One day, we’ll all have to go down the road your on now - you were born a leader, you set the standard and will continue to lead. There is no end.
Love,
Ashton, Mags and Liliana
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